Harrylucinations
by Cora Devoy
Summary: I'm not stupid. This fic is. Stupid in the nicest way possible, of course. Harry wakes up in the Slytherin common room with Draco. Full story inside. HD. Read&Flame!
1. Harry Discovers Christmas

A/N: I need a break from myself. I will not write how I usually write in this story. I would have posted this story before Christmas, but the uploader thing wouldn't work. I hope you like it anyways.

Chapter One: Harry Discovers Christmas

"Lumos…. Lumos… lumos…" Harry says to the presents under the tree. "Lumos… lumos!"

The spell is not working properly.

"Lumos!" he says, and his wand makes a big light so he can see all the presents. "Hooray!"

"POTTERRRRRR!" Uncle Vernon shouts, thumping down the stairs.

Oh no! Harry will be caught by the evil Vernon! So he wraps himself with wrapping paper. Don't forget the bow, Harry!

"Hey, where is Potter?" Vernon asks, scratching his head. "I guess he is not here. Besides, all of the presents are accounted for. Even that really lumpy one that is poorly wrapped. Good night, tree."

Phewy, that was a close one for Harry! Once Vernon leaves, he unwraps himself. "Ooh, what is it?!" he asks, unwrapping himself. He gasps. "It's me! Oh I shouldn't have!"

Merry Christmas!

Aw, sorry, Harry. Looks like that was just a hallucination.

Harry wakes up. "That was a good dream." He looks around. He is in the Slytherin Common Room. "Wow, what exquisite drapes… wait a minute!" he exclaims, realizsing what is out of place. "They aren't pretty!"

"Potter, you skank!" Draco Malfoy scolds him.

"I'm not a skank!" Harry protests, wrapping a bedsheet around his naked form.

Draco starts swearing. When he is done, he asks Harry a question. "What have you done!"

Oh no! While Harry was dreaming about Christmas presents, he was actually passed out from an inappropriate episode with Draco!

What will he do???

A/N: To be continued. Now flame it!!!


	2. Draco Has No Taste in Fashion

Chapter Two: Draco Has No Taste in Fashion

"Look Harry," Draco says. "I think you need some serious help."

"_I_ need help???" Harry asks in disbelief. "You're the one who wears a sweater in the middle of July!"

"I meant, help for your _problems_," Draco says. "Look at yourself!"

Harry looks at himself.

"Anything missing???" Draco asks in an obvious way.

Harry doesn't hear him and starts primping in front of a mirror. "I'm… too sexy for my shirt…"

Crabbe and Goyle come down the stairs. "Hey who's your friend?"

"He's not my friend!" Malfoy answers.

"Yes we are!" Harry says, and hugs him, still nude.

"Not cool, man," they reply.

Draco tries desperately to get Harry off him. "Look, Potter, I gotta go to Potions."

Harry gasps. "Me too!"

So they go to potions.

"Ew, you're nakey!" Hermione says.

"Freedom!" Harry yells.

Snape comes along. "Detention, Potter!"

"For what?" Harry asks.

"For arriving to class in your birthday suit," Snape says.

Oh no, Harry has detention! What will he do?

As Snape starts the class, Harry has a long discussion with his conscience about cardboard houses.

He thinks about this for a long time. After browsing all of the houses for sale, he finally picks one.

"Guess what Draco!" Harry exclaims. "I picked a house for us to live in!"

"And hopefully some new clothes," he replies.

"Yeah, new clothes for YOU," Harry says. "You have no fashion sense."

This causes Snape to give them both detention. Bet you didn't see that coming! Okay so everyone has to flame now yay!

To Be… Continued… OMG!


	3. Thinking Outside the Box

Chapter Three: Thinking Outside the Box

"Okay, so this one is more expensive, but just look at that colour!"

"Harry, it's brown, just like all the other boxes."

Draco and Harry are debating on which house to select. Harry thought the refrigerator box was the most practical, while Draco couldn't make up his mind at all.

"I already have a house, why are we looking at boxes to live in?" Draco asks irritably.

"Because," Harry replies. "If we're going to make a living for ourselves together, the first step is to buy a lovely home for our us and our family."

"Our _family???_" Malfoy yells in disbelief. "I'm not living in a box with you, and I'm not starting a family!"

Harry pouted. He was sad. Didn't Draco know that he was unemployed and couldn't afford the luxuries that he was used to?

He tries to reason with him. "I know I may never have the luxuries that you are used to, but can't you just love me for who I am inside?"

Draco blinks at him. Didn't Harry have a bunch of gold in his parents' vault?

But Harry rambles on. "One time, my mommy, told me about one time, when he was poor, and she had no money, so she had to live in a box, but then she met my dad, and so he told her that he'd pay her, if she would-"

Draco was shocked! "Are you sure you want to share this?!"

"AND THEY HAD SEX!" Harry yelled at the top of his lungs.

"But, your mom and dad died when you couldn't even talk," Draco says. He wasn't embarrassed by the phrase Harry had just shouted, because it was the line that came at the end of all the bedtime stories his mother read him when he was little.

Harry ponders about what his shnugglie-bunny just told him. "…Wait, maybe it was Snape my dad hired…"

Draco wanted to change the subject, so he tells Harry that they should continue shopping for boxes.

Brilliant idea!

So they shop for boxes. Yay!

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

I want you all to read and review my story Let's Go Hogwarts 2! Doesn't that sound fun? Another story by your faaaaavorite author in the whole world! It's like a dream come true!


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